I continued my research, aided by internet friends, and soon had a list of mediums who had proven their abilities to other bereaved parents. I added these names to my nightly ritual of talking to Jason. "Jason, if you can't get through to me, go to George, or to John Edward, or to Shelley Peck. Tell them to call your mom!! I need to know if you are okay!" Yes, at times I was sure I was losing it. And I didn't really care. All I wanted was to still be Jason's mom, and still be able to check in once in a while. I do not believe that any mom would think that is too much to ask?

In the spring of 97, Dave and I did an internet reading with Laurence Harry of Wales. Laurence was able to tell us (correctly) that Jason "fishes without hurting the fish" and that he remembers "camping at the lake with Jerry and/or Gary". This was another reading that was validating, and uplifting, and worth the 35 dollars. But...it wasn't the I KNOW NOW reading. It was coming, but not yet. Lights continued to go off and on, Dave and Jeremy both had dreams that appeared to be visits with Jason, and we all continued to grieve as best we could. I continued my imaginary conversations with Jason and always with the same request. At some point, the conversations became two sided. I would not only imagine what I was saying, I would imagine an answer. I remember as if it were yesterday the time I asked Jason if he would be there when I arrived. He rolled his eyes and said "Where else would I be? I was here even when I was there with you." Now, that probably makes about as much sense to you as it did to me when I imagined him saying it. Absolutely none. BUT . . . I know now that I didn't imagine it. It was not my thought. Who's was it? You decide . . .

About the time of the reading with Laurence, I began planning a presentation to be given at the annual COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS conference in Philly in July. I wanted others to hear what I had learned and to feel the incredible feeling of HOPE that validation of an afterlife can bring. I began conversing with John Edward about doing a presentation after the conference for interested bereaved parents. We became email buddies, chatted in a chat room a couple of times, and his business manager, Ellen, had my phone number. John did know that I had lost a son, and that his name was Jason. He also knew that I liked orange slices (candy) since I had mentioned eating them in one of our two chats. That was all he knew. And this is important, so stay with me here. John was on the list I gave Jason every night . . . "Go to John Edward, Jason. I trust him. Go to him and tell him to "CALL MY MOM."


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