You might find support and love from people you barely know, and find some of your closest friends and family members unable to meet your eyes.
You might want to talk about your child all the time. Few people will be able to listen...
You might obsess over what could have been, what should have been, and why.
You might avoid going places where you've been with your child.
You might not be able to get out of bed some mornings.
You might not be able to go to sleep some nights.
You will cry.
You might scream.
You might isolate yourself.
You might surround yourself with people at all times.
You will never be the same person you were.
You will never "get over it".
You must go THROUGH it.
At this point, I think you have realized that grieving the death of your child can and will effect you in so many myriad ways that they cannot be listed as symptoms or stages as some have tried to do. Any feeling or emotion we experience is "NORMAL" . Losing a child is a catastrophic loss. Getting through it without pain is impossible. My advice to you is this. Take it one breath at a time. Take care of yourself. Let it happen. Listen to your heart. Talk to anyone who will listen and if that is not possible, talk to yourself, your God, your angels. Talk to your child. I believe they still hear us. If you are feeling suicidal and you are planning to act, GET HELP. Your child will need you here to keep his memory alive. If you are not eating or sleeping after the first couple weeks, see a physician. You will need your strength to get through this. And going through it is what it's all about.
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