Love Never Dies: A Mother's Journey from Loss to Love


"i'm sorry. . ..."
two words, so simple,
but when uttered by an emergency room doctor
in the gray of pre-dawn
they send a bolt of pain
through your heart
that tears, rips, and punctures
so brutally that
of time
will ever make
that heart the same
again. . .
--Sandy, 1997

Chapter 1

As I sit to begin this book, it is four years later, both a lifetime ago and only last week. Joshua, Jason's twin brother, is now twenty-two, and Jeremy, our oldest son, is twenty-six. Dave and I are entering our twenty-eighth year of marriage in rural Wyoming where we have lived since 1986. As we approach the anniversary of Jason's death, it seems destined that we share this story. Jason's death catapulted me into a search for truth that has expanded my view of reality ten fold.

It is important that you realize this journey is mine. The experiences, obstacles, and conclusions are mine. Each of us progresses differently, and each event appears at the right place for that progression. Perhaps your choosing this book is one of those events. Perhaps it's not. I certainly do not know all the answers and I believe that my truth is just that, mine.

I will write about grief, as I experienced it. If you lose or have lost a loved one, you may very well experience an entirely different process. However, my guess is that you will feel as if we have walked in the same shoes at least part of the way. I also want to spend some time talking about a few misconceptions about grief that are long overdue for extinction in our society.

When I share information about grief and all that goes with it, I apologize in advance for concentrating primarily on the death of a child. No matter how much revising I do, it continues to surface as the focal point.


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